


The Seven Year Itch

by porgletsfordinner



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 50's AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Awkward Ben Solo, Bad fashion sense au, Canon Age Difference, Canon Compliant, Chewbacca is the extra one here, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Feels are all over the place, First Time, Friends to Lovers, In Character, Leia understands her absence contributed to Ben's fucked up state, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Nipple Biting, Not the way you think, Office Sex, Porn With Plot, Smut, Soft boi Ben Solo, Teasing, The Force Ships It, The Seven year itch au, The whole gang is here, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey, mention of Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-11 14:48:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15317835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porgletsfordinner/pseuds/porgletsfordinner
Summary: Lonely New Yorker Ben Solo is fine the way he is. No family to ask him unwanted questions about his love life, a fairly decent job to pay the bills, and an apartment in Manhattan all to himself. No really, he’s fine.Except it’s Summer in the city and no one’s really fine when it’s burning outside, even more when the temperature gets a sudden rise after his upstairs neighbors call in their sweet British friend Rey to house sit, and Ben’s way of life gets sent spiraling when he finds himself tempted by this beautiful neighbor.In which Ben Solo is an awkward virgin with more issues than fingers to count them and Rey is eager to find out if he’s as bad as her friends told her he was.The Seven Year Itch au, which comes with a 50’s au and loads of smut.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this fic ! I'd like to thank my fantastic beta reader lainie2230 on tumblr for always being a sweetheart and making this fic a thousand times better and even more than that. You're awesome and this fic would be nothing without our team work ! 
> 
> First chapter is VERY feel heavy but please bear with me it's a fun story I swear.

_The island of Manhattan derives its name from its earlier inhabitants the ‘Manhattan Indians. They were a peaceful tribe, setting traps, fishing, hunting. There was a custom among them, every July when the heat and humidity on the island became unbearable, they would send their families for the summer up the river to the cooler islands or if they could afford it, to the sea shore. The men of course would remain on the steaming island to attend to business, setting traps, fishing and hunting. Actually this story has nothing whatsoever to do with Indians, it plays 500 years later._

_We only brought up the subject to show you that in all that time, nothing has changed. Manhattan men still send their families away for the Summer and they remain on the boiling island to attend to business, setting traps, fishing and hunting._

 

The crackling speakers announcing the next departures were ringing out across the hall, names of cities nobody had ever heard of mixed with the loud chattering of the crowd.  
It was freaking hot, an erupting volcano kind of hot, and Ben wasn’t sure how his mother convinced him to accompany her to the station.  
He was barely resisting the heat, sweating under his black shirt like he had been caught in a rainfall. His mother’s dog, Chewbacca, some kind of Shih Tzu mixed with probably a bear and a demon, was being lovingly carried in Leia’s arms. Sure it felt kind of odd, thinking he had been there too, in her arms, his _mother‘s_ arms. It had been too long he knew, and he tried very hard not to reflect on what his jealousy of an insignificant fuzz ball might mean for him as a grown man. ‘ Don’t overanalyze Ben, it’s alright’ he repeated himself. ‘No one likes to be replaced.’  
But no matter how much he told himself this, he couldn’t stop the sense of bitterness flowing through his veins.  
He clenched his jaw and looked around, wary. It was a hellish day to be taking the train, everyone seemed to be getting to goodbyes and kisses. Lots of families split during summer, the city was just too hot, too humid and too suffocating for those who didn’t have to be there. Ben knew all about splitting families, but goodbyes and kisses had never been his or his family’s forte. At his best he would have awkwardly hugged his mother goodbye or given her an even more awkward pat on her back.

He wasn’t at his best.

New York had always been a sticky, sweaty hellhole during Summer, but it had been painfully exhausting for about a week, when he received a call from his mother telling him she was coming to town for a work meeting and needed to stay at his place. At any other time he‘d have said no. He would have had an excuse ready before the request was even out of his mother’s mouth, but this time….this time he fell short and he knew why. His mother had taken advantage of the time zone differences, calling him at one in the morning, because it had only been years since he’d left the ‘family’ house and she claimed this whole ‘time thing’ was beyond her. And Ben, Ben couldn’t think of any excuse at one in the morning. He had been so exhausted he had no idea what a phone even was at that point, let alone registering that Leia had maneuvered him into a corner and then hung up on him right after telling him he should already be in bed _it’s weekday Ben_. Be that as it may, she arrived two days later, all intricate hairstyle -inimitable composure and enough belongings to sink a ship. And of course she brought the dog. The fucking dog. Sure his mother he could deal with, but he’ll be damned if he has to put up with that dog ! It always looked at him like he could see straight through the heart of him, and what he saw there he didn‘t like. Five nights in, he almost gave Ben a heart attack when the poor boy was just trying to get some milk. Yeah sure the milk was spoiled, suspiciously bubbling and of a rather odd greenish color, but how would the dog know that. Ben sneered when he thought how close he had been to Chewie, his childhood dog.  
A long time ago that was, when it was still ridiculously sweet and reliable. More than most humans Ben knew. As a child, he would snuggle up with Chewbacca when his parents were away, the soft feeling of his fur on his cheeks had made him feel secure, made him feel loved. He was at home, but when his parents weren’t, Chewie was, and those little moments with him had been precious and had given him comfort as he waited for them to return. It was only later that he had come to realize that they were never really with him. Even when they were physically there.

But things had changed, even with Chewbacca.

Ben was no longer a child and those days were over for him and that walking carpet seemed to have sensed it for some goddamn reason and kept on growling whenever he was near him. For the week his mother had stayed with him, this piece of shit had done nothing but nip at his ankles, shed fur everywhere, and attempt to make him fall every second of his life. And to add to the fun, a bunch of Leia’s staffers who had also attended the meeting followed besides them, carrying her things and laughing together. ‘How the fuck can they be that cheery with that heat !’ he thought to himself as he barely managed to breath in the wet sodden air.  
Running a damp hand across his face, he saw his mother turn toward him, and a sad smile appeared on her face as she caught sight of him.  
She was the first one to talk, lifting her head to meet his eyes.

  
‘ I always hated leaving you,’

  
_And I always hated seeing you leave, until I understood that was how things worked in the Solo Organa household._ He clenched his jaw, quickly dropping his stare to his feet then back at her again. He could feel the anger flooding him, and tried to ball his fist to stem the tide. It didn’t work.

  
‘ I’m sure you did,’

  
‘ I still do,’she murmured, taking a step toward him, almost raising her hand to touch his arm. She knew her son, and despite the short amount of time she had spent with him these last years, she didn’t need to put her hand on him to know he would be a mess of tense muscles, conflicted thoughts and resentful feelings.

Ben had felt what she wanted to do and had taken a small step back, afraid of what would happen to him if she did, or of who he would become if he let her. His eyes shifted, staring right back at her sad deep brown eyes so like his own, and for a brief moment the anger seeped out of him and he was left with just the raw truth of his feelings.

‘But you always did. Then, now, always.’

Leia’s throat constricted so much at that simple, painful statement that her breathing stopped. For a second she considered telling him something that he had heard thousand times, that it was all for the resistance, for the people, for the cause. Because really, that’s what it was for, all of this. But she couldn’t say it again because she also knew she had been thinking more about politics than family. Knew she hadn’t been there enough for him, knew that she had left them alone, him and Han. She thought she had carried that burden on her own, would have liked to, probably, but what she hadn’t thought about was that her family had carried that burden too. Han to some extent, when he was there, but mostly Ben, who had always waited for her to return from yet another endless committee meeting, chewing on some appalling food he had found lurking at the back of the fridge. She had always wanted to be there and she had tried, really tried, to come home and kiss Ben to sleep, to make a proper dinner that didn’t taste like it was for Chewie, maybe even read him bedtime stories about spaceships and star fighters. But that had virtually never happened. The cause had always come first. She knew he had felt her absence. And now, she felt his.

Years later, she was looking at the boy who had become a man. Her boy, she wanted to think. But he had grown so far away from the child she had raised and into someone so heavily guarded that no one could reach him anymore, not even her. She could see how rage and pain poured out of him, and how beyond that, an even more intense feeling of loneliness had filled him. He was alone, so alone, and what had been broken in the child he was, made him the man he is. A man who had no father, who barely had a mother, who had no family. Even now, he was still alone, most of the time. Leia sighed as she admitted to herself ‘always’.  
It had taken her time to understand it, years really and she didn’t know how much of those lonely nights were still involved in Ben’s nightmares.

 

But there was hope. And hope was like the sun, if you only believed it when you could see it, you would never make it through the night. As for Leia, she was a believer.  
‘ I’m never really gone.’ She simply said, her hand finally grazing his arm.

 

Ben felt his stomach drop. Waves of terror washed through him and for the first time in years, he was weakened, naked and undisguised. It was like someone touching fire with bare hands. Ben always thought his mother was small, but not powerless. She was strong, strong enough to force Ben to look into his past even when he didn’t want to. In an attempt to regain his composure, he tried holding himself a little bit straighter, his voice deep in his throat.

  
‘ It’s too late….’

  
Her lips parted but whatever she was about to say was engulfed by the speakers loud whirring.

  
‘ Rockland, Plymouth and Bar Harbor- Departing at 6:30.’

  
Leia sighed and readjusted Chewbacca in her arms. She looked up once more, eyes filled with a familiar softness and something else. Regret. Now really….

  
‘ Ben, when that happened-’

 

‘ You shouldn’t bring that up.’ He hoped it would sound commanding, threatening, but it came out more as a plea than an order. But Leia being well, Leia, she still did.

 

‘We all had our ways of coping.’

 

He peered at her, teeth clenching and unclenching. Ben wanted to burst in anger or in tears because he had been stupid enough to believe her before and suddenly felt like nothing had changed. Fucking hell.

 

‘ Senator Organa, we ought to go, I know now’s not a-’

 

‘ I know I know, just give me a minute.’

  
The remaining staffers took that as a cue to let them both together for a moment and proceeded to get theirs and Leia’s tickets checked. Ben knew what sheepish felt like but it was a thousand times worse now that they were alone, together. And he could somehow deal with alone alone but alone together had him freaking out. His trail of thoughts was going crazy when Leia gestured for him to bend down, and though he didn’t want to his body reluctantly complied. ‘It’s just the heat making me weak.’ he thought, even as he felt his battered heart quiver when she softly wrapped a tiny arm around him, bringing her lips to his forehead. Ben felt all his senses tingle in alarm, his focus shattered and his breathing hard. He was surprised, maybe not so much by what she had done, dared to do, but by the immense longing that submerged him when she did. He almost felt his arms respond in eagerness, almost leaned into her touch, and the worst of all, almost recognized how it felt to be loved. And it terrified him.

 

Lips still on his forehead, she whispered a soft ‘I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise.’

 

A long forgotten feeling arose inside him, a feeling he had sworn to burry and never dig up again. Emotions bubbling, he looked down at her, and then it hit him- like for real, bite. Intense pain flared in his torso and he yelped when he realized the dog was biting on his nipple. He quickly stepped back, hand snapping between his body and the dog’s teeth.  
Leia tightened her grip on Chewbacca, wagging her finger at him in a mock show of anger.

  
‘ Chewie it’s not dinner time yet !’

  
That was all that was needed for Ben to see red. Force he hated that dog and this, was the last straw. He glared at the dog, thought about taking him in his massive hands and throwing him into outer space after a bit of choking here and there maybe for the sake of doing his grandpa’s justice ! Word was he hated the dog too, well now was the time to finish what he started and destroy him ! Anger was fueling his every sense, storming, spiraling, heaving his chest, making him even bigger than he already was. Ben imagined himself ripping him off of her arms, could see himself doing it, and Leia for her part was just babbling on about how Chewie couldn’t resist a good piece of meat when he saw one ! He felt terrible, god murderous even. Trying to find some balance in his turmoil he took another step back, almost tripping on some kid running behind him. He needed a breath and it was so freakishly hot and crowded and loud and he felt like his head was spinning. Way to start the summer Ben, hot sweaty and the only bites you’re getting are from actual dogs and not the women you’re hoping will dig their teeth into you…. He mustn’t have been thinking clear because his mother laughed it off and even though it was no laughing matter, he slowly felt himself soften a little, the pain ebbing down in his chest. Maybe it was the exhaustion of this whole damn week kicking in, he thought.  
Smiling at him, Leia held Chewbacca close to her, perhaps to prevent him from tasting another bit of Ben or to prevent herself from hugging him like she seemed to want so desperately. They both felt it was time to leave, to split like all those families around them. Except there was no real family here, just two people being alone together. She cleared her throat, voice impossibly tight.

  
‘ Promise me you won’t forget what the Doctor Threepio said, no more of this stick twirling he said you could hurt yourself because you’re so tall and-’

  
‘ God mom, stop calling it stick twirling it sounds so wrong.’

  
As with everything else about him, he knew his mother didn’t understand his hobbies at all, and he hated when she talked to him like he was still in his teens because that was when time had stopped for them. It was like she had forgotten all those years. But he hadn’t.

 

‘ There’s also what Doctor Artoo said, try to eat properly when I’m away and….’

 

Her voice slightly trailed off, eyes lost for a moment. Ben’s concern for his parents took time to reach him and her head jerked up before that could happen. She smiled, a sad, regretful smile that made Ben’s breath catch in his throat. He stiffened when she touched his arm once more, eyes full of all the goodbyes and kisses they couldn’t share here, now, never. Her little fingers pressed against his shirt before letting go, the ghost of them lingering on him. She turned back, no longer facing him and walked a few steps before stopping in her tracks, searching for him again.

 

‘ And Ben…., --don’t be angry. Please.’

 

He barely nodded, too busy resisting the urge to run after her, begging her to come back, aching for her to stay. He didn’t realize how his eyes followed her until she disappeared, as he had done so so many times before.  
It was always about leaving, and waiting.

 

And now, in the steaming, swarming city, Ben had never felt so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr (https://porgletsfordinner.tumblr.com) ! Kudos and comments are the loveliest thing you can give me !


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my awesome beta reader, lainie2230 on tumblr for being such a sweetheart and making this whole process really fun !
> 
> IN THIS CHAPTER !
> 
> Someone leaves something somewhere for Ben to find ! WHAT'S THAT
> 
> Someone drops said something to see Ben pick it up and they love it ! SEXUAL TENSION
> 
> Someone suddenly rises the temperature and thank god Ben has air conditioning ! HE NEEDS HELP 
> 
> We get a bit more in depth and into Ben's life with this chapter !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo has no chill.  
> Rey has no chill either.
> 
> QUOTE :
> 
> For a second, a fraction of a moment, all air was sucked out and he could only hear her and himself breath the distance between them away. Something inside him shifted, and inside her….inside her that same feeling seemed to be blossoming.  
> But when she spoke, her voice sounded rude and irritated albeit hinted with curiosity.
> 
> ‘ Who are you ?’

Maybe you’d like to know a few more facts about Ben Solo, he works for a publishing company called Snoke and Company. They publish those pocket edition books everyone knows, that cost two bits in any drug store and sell like they‘re going out of fashion. But anyone who works for the company simply calls it The First Order. Ben had never really given much thought as to why it had gained such a nickname, maybe it was because they were the leading company around here or maybe because they wished for it to be. But order ? Ben understood that. His boss, a certain Mr Snoke, awful skin condition by the way, ran the business with more of an iron fist than Ben would have wanted. Because although Snoke may have been the boss, it was Ben that was the key to the success of his business. He was the one choosing the adjustments to make for the incoming publications, he knew just how to make the covers vastly more interesting and he was the best to soup up a title.

  
Ben knew that Snoke had seen his potential, seen how destined he was for greatness, and he knew that was why he watched him, very closely. _His protégé._

  
Except it was summer, and his boss was usually more laid back when it was hot and suffocating. He’d often trade his usual golden suits for something that looked more like a fancy bathrobe than proper work wear and sometimes even, he wasn’t here. He hoped now was one of those times, and when Ben walked into the reception area of Snoke’s office he felt a breath of fresh air wash over his face, ceiling fan blowing full speed above Mrs Phasma’s desk. As usual he ignored her as he strode toward Snoke’s office door, barely seeing her, but her, she always saw him and before he could reach his office, he heard her chair creak behind him.

  
‘ Mr Snoke’s not here, but I do have some things he left for you to check.’

  
Her voice was but a low growl in the back of her throat, as if she loathed having to talk to him and was forcing herself not to sound absolutely disgusted by his mere presence. They were coworkers, but minus the co.  
She got up, stern look on her face. Phasma was taller than Ben, and that was saying something because Ben was huge. Wearing high heels, she almost towered over him, and if there was one thing Ben hated, it was being looked down on. But her, she didn’t matter. He was her superior, and she had been intelligent enough to understand that not obeying him would never be an option. They didn’t get in each other’s way, and as long as both were still valuable to Mr Snoke, they would have to respect the other. He just nodded, scowling. After accompanying his mother to the station, after seeing her leave, he felt lost all over again, he felt abandoned. Try as he might, he couldn’t rid himself of the thought that all the order in the world wasn’t going to make him feel better this time. No matter how lost he felt, his feet still dragged him to his work, to Snoke. It wasn’t because he craved support and affection, bitter experience had taught him that he would never get those. And it wasn’t any other way because the only interactions he had were all at the office. Oh that no, Phasma was as cold as a trash can, and Mr Snoke was--…. Well if he was honest, Mr Snoke probably didn’t even know what affection might mean. To some extent, Ben knew his boss was just using his abilities, using him, constantly gnawing on his mind, lacing his thoughts with insecurity and shame.

_‘I’m the only one who’d want you Ben, look at you, look at you….You’re just a child.’_

Without even realizing, Ben’s hands had started to tremble ever so slightly, whole body feeling tense and upset. If Phasma had noticed though, she didn’t say anything, god she didn’t care at all. Reaching from behind her, she grabbed a big cardboard mock up with a new cover on it and held it for Ben to make his adjustments.

  
‘Mr Snoke wants to see a vast improvement in this.’

  
‘Little Women’ he read, trying to concentrate. ‘The secrets of a girls dormitory.’ They were going to publish a new version of it, a summer version. Classic literature meets American Pie meets Girls gone Wild indeed. The cover consisted of the women in the book in little to nothing, and Ben could almost hear Snoke yelling in his head ‘More cleavage this needs more cleavage !’ so he drew lines over their dresses, with time, he also knew what worked in the business of pocket edition, and an alluring cover worked damn well. When he looked like he was done, Mrs Phasma lowered the cover but Ben was so caught up in the act of drawing a line from shoulder to shoulder that the black line kept going….straight onto Mrs Phasma’s chest.

He mouthed a quiet ‘Fuck’, pursing his lips.

They looked at each other, and to her credit Phasma didn’t flinch but Ben, well Ben was just feeling stupid. Still holding onto the cardboard, she clenched her jaw, deposited it on display for Snoke’s review and got back to her desk. The light whirring of the fan should have cooled him off, but all he felt was an intense need to throw up. Yeah alright, now he wanted to throw up, just great. Ben started to panic, there was no way he was throwing up in front of that stone faced of Phasma. He breathed frantically through his nose and stomped out as fast as he could without running, his hair prickling against his cheeks when he stepped past the fan, and sat down in the feeble shelter of his own office. Hands came rubbing his face, he wanted to nuzzle, hide in them. Ben finally sighed, out loud. 

‘ Way to start the summer….’

After that, he had picked up a handful of editions to check, sinking into work like in a cold bath. He decided he would work until 6 and then he would go to the vegetarian restaurant right across the street from his house and order something vaguely healthy. A body his size couldn’t function on Martinis and green milk alone, as much as he wishes it would, and he wasn’t so sure he wanted to slump in loneliness just yet. Ben let his legs spread under his desk, bringing the little desk fan close to him. It was so hot, and if he thought the morning had been tropical in temperature, the evening was even worse. Hell he could have slipped in his own shoes given how much he was sweating. Rifling through the stack of files, his hands quickly stopped when he felt-- something. And as if he was meant to find it, the fan turned his way again and the top files went flying across the room. Ben felt his breath empty him. Underneath the files that had taken flight rested a pair of simple golden dice linked by a chain. They gleamed in what remained of the evening sun, and mesmerized, Ben couldn’t stop staring at them, Hesitant, terrified even to touch them, his hand unknowingly reached out to grab them and he slowly turned them in his fingers.

  
_Let the past die, destroy it, it’s the only way._

  
His breathing shuddered in his throat and his chest tightened.

  
_I’m never really gone._

  
His eyes snapped open when he heard a movement outside his office. He swallowed thickly, gasping a little. Tiny beeps followed and it finally dawned on him that it was just Phasma clocking out. He looked around him, his office was a mess and so was he. Brushing the hair out of his face, he glanced at his silver watch. Right, 6, time to go. He rapidly picked all the files up and put them on his desk, and as he stepped toward the door, he absentmindedly closed his hand around his father‘s dices and put them in his pocket.

 

* * *

 

 

TACO DANA was a restaurant he’d never been before, even thought it had been there for as long as he had lived in the area. They were all about vegetarian tacos and Ben was all about that pizza at the corner of his street. He wasn’t a big fan of listening to his mother but when he had to choose a restaurant for dinner, all he could hear was her telling him ‘don’t forget what doctor Artoo said’. Fuck doctor Artoo was what he wanted to say, but here he was, wiping his mouth after finishing the healthiest meal he had had in years. In fairness, the place was very comfortable and welcoming, animal friendly even, which only made him think of Chewie. The thought made his stomach clench, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to get out of this restaurant and the bitter feelings it was bringing up. He shifted in his seat, awkwardly calling out what seemed to be someone working here.

  
‘ Could I get the check ?’

  
The woman turned around, facing him with big, goggled eyes. She adjusted her huge glasses on her tiny scrunched up nose, and Ben felt so scrutinized all of a sudden that he mumbled a sorry under his breath without even registering why he did it. If goodbyes and kisses weren‘t his thing, you could be certain that sorrys and thank yous hadn’t been in his vocabulary for a long time now. He had figured out that they didn’t work, that they were never enough and often not even heard, so he‘d stopped bothering with them. And if that curious looking woman had managed to get one out of him, then Ben ought to be really careful around her. As she stepped toward him, Ben’s eyes went down and down and down until his chin touched his neck. She was so tiny and seemed pretty ancient as well.

  
‘ Certainly sir….’

  
Good lord she was ancient. The woman took out a little scratch pad and started listing in a flat voice.

  
‘ We had the number seven special the soybean taco with French fried soybeans, and a soybean sherbet for dessert. You’ll be relieved to hear your meal was only 222 calories !’

  
‘That’s what’ll relieve me yeah’ thought Ben, ‘knowing my blood sugar will probably be down in my feet by the end of the night.’ Ben cleared his throat.

  
‘ I also had a cocktail to start.’

  
Her eyes narrowed but never left his. They seemed endless for what Ben could see, surrounded by rows and rows of wrinkles. She was everything Ben feared, intrusive, patient and probably wiser than him, but if she thought Ben hadn’t learned how to wait in all those years, then she was in for a big surprise. He stared back at her, calm and thoughtful, until she finally lowered her head to look at what she had written when taking his order.

  
‘ That’s right, we had a sauerkraut juice on the rocks didn’t we. That’ll be 1,29 dollars then.’

  
Ben slightly nodded, hands already handing out the bills. He wanted to be anywhere but here, the look she was giving him was something he never wanted to come across ever again. And if his eyes shown any of his distrust to her, she didn’t look away because of it. Taking a step back, she held out her hand before her, refusing to take both of his dollar bills.

  
‘ Oh we don’t permit tipping, but I can give it to our nudist camp if you would like ?’

  
Ben stared at her in bemusement _. ‘Please don’t let her be serious.’_

  
‘ You do that.’

  
Ben frowned as she smiled contently, whole face shrinking around her glasses. He collected his fedora as he made to get up when she screamed, shocking him so bad he fell back on his seat, eyes wide.

  
‘ Clothes are the enemy ! Without clothes there’d be no sickness, there’d be no war ! Can you imagine, two great armies on the battlefield, no uniforms, completely nude ? Sir, you’re in great need to unmask your poor suffocating body !’

  
Ben was 100% certain he did not want the image of two nude armies of men in his head, so he tried very hard to focus on anything else. Kittens, ice cream, naked women, Mrs. Phasma-- _‘Fuck no bring back the nude soldiers !’_. Working his mouth to avoid himself from cussing, he clenched his jaw tightly and straightened himself as he got up, towering over her now. But even if he was more than two feet above her, he still fell deeply under her scrutiny. Her head had lifted to follow his own, and she was still looking at him with those eyes. He hated that.

 

‘ Goodnight.’ was all he could muster as he turned to exit the restaurant. Loneliness wasn’t so bad after all, no dogs to bite your nipples, no mother to tell you to eat properly and have you end up in a night of disasters, vegetarian tacos and weird ass encounters. _‘Solo was fine.‘_ he laughed bitterly to himself. He almost let himself breath a little when the woman called out to him in a softer voice.

  
‘ You forgot your dice.’

  
Ben stopped in his tracks. His breathing was growing ragged and he could feel his hands dampen. He turned back, reluctantly. And he could see them. They were still here. He had soothed himself thinking they were just his imagination playing ghosts of the pasts in his mind, but he knew Leia had left them on his desk knowing very well how he would feel. She wanted him, to feel, to regret even. But he wouldn‘t, couldn‘t allow himself to. Panic started creeping its way inside him, he wanted to swallow but his throat felt rough and full of unshed tears. His eyes flickered between the dice on the table and Maz persistent stare. Oh now he was a show for her he was sure. But she wasn’t laughing at him or looking confused, she simply took the dice in her tiny hands, inspecting them briefly before reaching for his own trembling ones. He withdrew so fast she blinked, letting the dice fall to the ground. She didn’t have time to register what was happening, and the next thing she knew, he had picked them up and was walking aggressively toward the way out. And if her eyes weren’t playing games on her, she might even have seen his lip trembling ever so slightly as he exited the restaurant.

  
‘ Weird bird that one….’ she thought, and she got back to her business.

 

* * *

 

 

Seven years Ben had been living in that apartment, and not once had he ever felt happier to get back to it than he did now. It was an old brownstone, the building had been painted black and it had two French windows on the street and an arched front door big enough for him to get in without having to bend every time, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care at all what it looked like actually. When he moved from the family house, Ben had no special conditions when looking for a place to live in, like wanting three bedrooms to have friends over, two floors or a backyard for barbecues on Sundays. He had no friends to invite over, no stairs to climb, and no barbecue in the little garden he still managed to get. The only thing he had asked for was to be as far from his parents as he could be, and moving to the other side of the country seemed like a good first step. And if going from LA to New York may have been a drastic change, it was worth the stinging rain of Fall, the numbing cold of Winter and the unrelenting heat of Summer if it meant being away from his family. And just like that, his thought drifted to his mother. He scoffed as he strode up the building’s stairs, thinking about what she told him when she arrived a week before.

  
‘ She wants me to get more room for her to stay in, well that’s not happening. There’s already, fucking Poe and his boyfriend living upstairs, and two interior decorators or something on the top floor.’

  
He shivered at the thought of actually living in the same building as Poe as he unbolted the door. Poe was a staff member of his mother‘s, he worked as a consultant and if Ben was being honest, he was a pretty genius pilot as well. They had done their military duty at the same time, and he had seen first hand that Poe knew his way around an aircraft. Ben was a great pilot himself, he had inherited some pretty amazing skills in that department, but the sad truth was that he struggled to get from his apartment to his workplace without a map. As for his upstairs neighbor, he had no such troubles. So now, Poe was en ex pilot, and full time asshole. And God was he devoted to his work. Ben had no idea what he was doing here, spying on him for his mother ? Writing reports or something about what he was doing ? Trying to fill that gaping wound he had left in his family ?  
Thinking about Poe was always a sure fire way to get his blood pressure rising, so he indulged in a few comforting breaths while getting inside his apartment. Unwinding a bit, he took off his hat and put it down on the couch, running a hand across his sweat soaked hair. He looked around at his neat generic apartment, with it’s neat generic furniture, ordered and well aligned and yet, all he felt was profound emptiness.

‘No, Peacefulness’ he instructed himself. It was peaceful with no one here. No dog barking his lungs out when he arrived, no ‘What happened at work son ?’

  
‘What did you do at the office today Ben ?’ He said out loud to himself, in a pitiful facsimile of his mother.

  
‘ Had fun today Mom. I killed Mr Snoke, destroyed the joint, tossed that nosy cow Phasma out the window and set fire to 200 000 copies of ‘Little Women’, --so all in all a pretty good day.’

  
What did she think could happen at the office ? That some gorgeously dressed, beautifully attractive woman would come out of nowhere and they would feel a connection between them ? Well, that was not happening, not to Ben Solo at least. He swallowed and found his throat to be dry enough for a cold, well deserved beer. He made his way to his fridge but all he found inside was despair and suffering, in the shape of dozens of raspberry sodas. Litres and litres of them. But not one goddamn beer.

 

‘ Mother….’ he muttered grimly, while grabbing one of the sickly sweet drinks.

  
While she was here, she insisted he ate more healthy food, drank more water and less martinis, and used bottle openers. He had already endured the first two, the last one he was going to skip. Popping the bottle open, he walked back into the living room and took a sip of the fizzy drink. It was sour and raspy on his tongue, and despite the initial relief of the cold drink coating his mouth and cooling his throat, he wasn’t really sure how he would down everything his mother had bought for him. Geez what did they had put in it for it to taste so terrible ? He ran his tongue over his lips as he read the ingredients.  
‘Carbonated water, citric acid, corn syrup, artificial raspberry flavoring, vegetable colors and preservative.’ He sneered.‘ Shit she’s trying to kill me.’  
There was no way you could tell him that this swill was better than a nip of gin with some vermouth and a twist of lemon ! Surely she wasn’t the one who would tell him any different, he knew now where all his beers had went, and it was not in the trashcan. She didn’t trust him here--, alone and angry. Maybe she was right. He stood there a moment, listening to the sounds of emptiness.

  
‘ It’s alright.’ he whispered to himself. ‘You’re alright.’

  
_‘ Liar’_ his brain whispered back.

  
Trying to distract himself with work, he walked toward his briefcase-- and felt his foot go out from under him. For a moment all he could feel was the disorientating feeling of weightlessness, and then his back slammed against the ground, bringing with it excruciating pain. The hell had he slipped on ?-- He quickly got on his knees, looking frantically around him. His jaw clenched so tightly his teeth ached when his eyes finally lit upon the little plushy toy, a fat bird with pleading black eyes that absolutely was not found in nature. The dog’s. It was the fucking dog’s toy. It wasn’t even here and it was still tormenting him that shit !

Still on all fours, he was trying to get his bearings while he waited for the pain to dissipate when he heard a loud vibrating ring at the door. He woke with a start and felt dizzy, blinking the remaining of his emerging sadness away. The sound repeated across his apartment, or it had been so strong it was still ringing in his ears, he didn’t know. It was replacing his peace with something entirely new, a rumble.  
Ben knew it couldn’t have been for him. No one he knew would be rigging his doorbell at this hour. ‘ Ignore it ’ he thought, ‘ They’ll go away.’ Only they didn’t and the doorbell just kept ringing and ringing. He messily wiped his hands on his thighs. The shock had made him spill fucking soda all over himself and now not only did he look disheveled from how dreadful this whole day, week, had been but also sticky from cold soda and damp sweat. He rushed toward the door. He needed the ringing to stop or he was going to go crazy. Breathing hard in annoyance, he jerked his door open in one big swift movement.

 

Far far away, down the entrance corridor, he saw a figure behind the curtain of the front door. A girl.

  
  
He pressed the button to let her in and watched unashamedly as she struggled to get inside, her arms packed with mountains of food and drinks, a tiny fan and more things that she held in an unbalanced fashion. Part of him, the well brought up, polite part of him wanted to help her, but he felt stuck on the spot, restrained by who he had become. A monster. He tried to reassure himself by thinking that she didn’t look like she needed any help at all, that everything in her arms looked like it weighted nothing. He was lying to himself, Ben knew everything was heavy.  
He consciously slowed his breathing, curious as he searched for her behind the massive bags she was holding-- and then stopped. He saw her look up and her eyes widened. Big, hazel green eyes, and as they stared into his own, he felt his breathing steadying. For a second, a fraction of a moment, all air was sucked out and he could only hear her and himself breath the distance between them away. Something inside him shifted, and inside her….inside her that same feeling seemed to be blossoming. But when she spoke, her voice sounded rude and irritated albeit hinted with curiosity.

  
‘ Who are you ?’

  
And God, that soft British accent that came out of her mouth had him reeling.

  
‘I’m Ben ah--’ Anything but Solo, he thought so he simply said ‘ I live on the first floor.’

  
At that her whole face lit up, and she smiled, wide and warm.

  
‘ Oh ! Ben Solo right !’

  
_Shit._

  
‘ I live in Finn and Poe’s apart-- The Damerons apartment for the Summer while they’re in Europe. I forgot the key to the front door so I had to ring your bell.’

  
She started going up the stairs and he found himself staring as she did. She was younger than him, shorter than him too, and so much prettier than he thought any female guest of Dameron’s would be. Now that she had turned around, he could see behind the stack of things she was carrying. Ben didn’t know shit about fashion but he knew she was dressed fashionably. It was something everyone was crazy about, a new sort of outwear that had been dubbed ‘The Jedi fashion’. From what he had seen in shops and even on actual women and men, he wasn‘t a fan. It was mostly baggy, old looking clothes, in colors Ben never wore, light and grey. He saw his uncle wear it once, and that had quickly sealed his hatred of it. But her dress was tighter, following her curves, her waist, her hips….

  
‘ Could you do it again ?’

  
Ben blinked up at her. He had absolutely no idea what she was talking about until she pointed toward the door with her elbow where the long fan’s wire was stuck. He followed it and spotted it straining against her thigh. He could almost see her soft skin underneath it, real and enticing and fuck. His mind was racing and his eyes didn’t want to leave her sight, but he obliged and searched for the door button with his fingers, found it and pressed. The familiar bell rang across the corridor and she snatched the fan’s wire away. It dangled behind her, and now she was almost half the way up the stairs. He had to crane his neck to look at her face and she lowered hers to whisper the low and quiet ‘thank you’ she had forgotten before disappearing.

Without being able to move, he stayed there for long minutes, never wanting to leave where she had been, because maybe someday, she would come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They finally meet ! EXCITED !  
> You can always find me on tumblr (https://porgletsfordinner.tumblr.com/) ! Kudos and comments are the loveliest thing you can give me ! Thanks for reading ! I'll post the edit for this Chapter I swear, I'm really tired it's too late for me to be up if there are any mistakes I'll fix them up tomorrow
> 
> EDIT : THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE FEEDBACK it's been fantastic ! Chapter three is being beta-ed and will be up at the beginning of next week hopefully ! Brace yourself for the smut you don't know what's coming. I'm trying to figure out my posting schedule cause every Chapter is pretty long.


	3. Chapter three I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The E rating Reylo has started, and it won't stop ! *laugh*  
> As always, HUGE thanks to my fantastic beta reader lainie2230 on tumblr, because whitout her help you wouldn't even have that masturbation scene !  
> NEW TAGS FOR THIS CHAPTER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING ! It's an absolute pleasure to write for all of you !  
> I also realised that this Chapter three I works for the first day of Reylo nsfw week ?  
> It's my first time writing smut and I hope you'll find it pleasing ! I'm always posting the chapters really late here because of the time difference so please indulge some mistakes that I'll fix in the morning !
> 
> Without further ado, the smut !

 

When the lights went out, he had thought maybe it was time to get back inside his apartment. So his hands reached for the switch and turned them on again. He wasn’t leaving, but he didn’t want her thinking he was a creep waiting in darkness. Because that was exactly what he was doing.  
The truth was, he had no idea what he was doing anymore, and waiting for her seemed to be the only thing his body wanted to do right now. He didn‘t feel like himself ever since he had watched her walk away from him, and he didn‘t entirely know why. For the first time in what had been a long time, he didn’t feel angry. And Ben wasn’t sure how to deal with not being angry. This feeling of wholeness that had awakened inside him at the sight of her felt foreign and dangerous and…. _unsettling_.

  
After remaining so still for so long, his legs were starting to ache. He wanted a beer. He wanted to sit down. He wanted not to feel, _so much_. Anger and emptiness had been his shadow for so long now, that feeling anything else was overwhelming. Eventually lifting his head, he realized he was just a man, standing alone in an empty corridor. Waiting for nothing. Like he always had. He shook his head a little, breathing through his nose. Ben wondered what had gotten into him, and willed himself to feel the anger again. Fury engulfed him in seconds and this feeling, still faintly pumping his heart, was but a crack of light within his darkness.

  
Ben Solo had always been disciplined, unyielding even, and crumbling under a pair of pretty eyes had no place in his future. Nor was staying in a corridor for the last ten minutes. Yet here he was.

‘It’s ridiculous.’ He sighed to himself. ‘I’m ridiculous.’ Huffing, he _finally_ got his feet moving and stomped back in his apartment, and as the door shut behind him, he was left alone with nothing but churning emotions. He felt shame. Snoke was right. No one would want him. Not his family, and not her either. He chewed on the inside of his mouth, looking for something, anything to distract him, his eyes roamed the room until they fell on his briefcase. Right. Dr BeeBee- Ate’s freaking book.

  
‘Of Men and the Unconscious.‘ the title read. Ben scoffed. ‘Tell me about it.‘ 

  
He grabbed the raspberry soda he had left on the floor after falling and opened the door to his backyard. Slumping in the far too tiny deckchair his mother had bought for him last Christmas, he threw his long legs all the way over it. It had gotten dark outside but the air was still heavy and thick and Ben felt smothered by the raging heat. Trying to get comfortable, he sipped on the overly sweet fizzy drink as he started reading out loud.

  
‘ Chapter three, the Repressed Urge in the middle aged man, its Roots and its Consequences.’

  
He ran a hand across his face and inhaled deeply. It was going to be a long, lonely evening.  
Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he let his head fall back on the deckchair and looked up. The sky was a stormy grey, and he couldn’t see any stars behind the huge clouds thickening above him.  
Now that his mother was gone, all that remained was the realization of how alone he was. And with her had left his hope for belonging, back to being suppressed and hidden deeply inside him, where he wished for it to wither and die. He clenched his jaw and glanced at his watch.

  
‘ Ten p.m….’ he muttered, ‘ She said she‘d call at ten p.m. I fucking hope it’s to tell me that the dog’s fallen off that goddamn train. ’

  
His brows furrowed as he chewed on his lips, eyes wandering his garden. It wasn’t right, nothing was.  
Fuck he should be throwing a goddamn party, and it didn’t matter that he had never heard of any party starting on a deckchair with raspberry soda, or that he didn’t like parties for the matter, he wanted to eat pizza, get drunk, maybe even have girls up here.

  
‘ What girls ?’ he sighed, burrowing himself further in the deckchair.

  
The problem was, he knew exactly what girl. His eyes flickered to the little balcony above him, the one leading to the Dameron's apartment, and saw that bright light was flowing out of the french door.

  
'She's right here' he whispered to himself. Tilting his head to get a better look, he felt his stomach clench at the thought of her so close to him, and without realizing his hand grazed against his thigh. Try as he might, he couldn't see anything. The balcony was crammed with flower pots and actual flowers in them, all managing to live on rain alone, the rare time Poe's boyfriend had tried to water them Ben had found a puddle flooding his own little tree that he had just planted. The tree had never recovered from it. It was still an overwatered baby tree. To add insult to injury, the balcony's garden was now concealing his vision.

Fucking Dameron, not even here and still ruining his life. He huffed and slumped back down on the deckchair. Distracting himself with work shouldn't be so hard, so he turned the manuscript around and read the title for the ninth time to make sure it was the right one. Because God, what was he reading again ? Seemingly nothing, because a moment later, he straightened up to peer at the window again. To his dismay, a few seconds weren't enough to will the mess on Poe's balcony away. Hell, maybe even years wouldn't suffice to clean that jumble.

Ben let out a lengthy, regretful sigh as he dropped back down, slammed the book next to him and closed his eyes. With them shut, he could see her. Her soft hips beneath the wire, her sweet smile, and that look. As he reminisced, his skin prickled.  
His neck was starting to cramp after looking surreptitiously for so long at her apartment, and he had to massage his nape for it to relax a bit. Good. It felt good. His mind was light and floating, and his other hand skimmed over his thigh to slip in between his legs.

 

  
He swallowed as his hand palmed his growing hard on over his pants. Shit he shouldn't be doing this. It was fucked up and gross and so _so_ needy of him and _ah_ \-- she could come out right this instant and find him touching himself thinking about her. She would see him, writhing and scrambling to undo his belt. She would hear him, moaning and grunting softly as he pushed his pants past his thighs. But would she stay ? He wanted her to stay. He wondered if she would stare at him, if she would let her eyes roam across his body, if she would feel how much he wanted her to want him. Disgusted at himself, his eyes snapped open and his hand shot up as if it had been burned. He had to stop. It was wrong, all of it. She didn't want him and yet his heart wanted to act as if she did.

  
'Just a little bit....' his pulse beat through his veins. 'Because maybe she does.' A long, heavy sigh escaped his lips and he shuddered when his throbbing hard on started begging too. Fuck it. All of it. His resolve wavered and he whimpered as his fingers slipped under his briefs.

 

 

  
Ben Solo was standing in his office, his back to the door. It was late and the sun had started dipping behind the blind of his window, but not late enough for him to go home yet. Thin rays of sunlight poured through and into his office, gold melting on grey, light rising shadows. He was thinking, silent, and when he heard the door open behind him he knew it could only be Phasma and didn’t bother turning to face her.

  
‘ Did you realize you wrote something with spelling mistakes in every word or is that just an arty liberty you took ?’

  
She didn’t say anything, hell Phasma hardly ever said anything to him if she wasn’t forced to. Her silence had always exasperated him, but now, it angered him even more because he was already dizzy and dripping from the heat and sensing how reluctant she was only made him feel utterly repulsive. Spiking with anger, he breathed through his nose, his chest heaved and he suddenly turned toward her-- and almost fell to his knees when his eyes found hers. Resolved, hazel green ones.

  
‘ It is you….’ he heard himself whisper.

  
It was her, the girl in the Jedi dress. And she was looking at him, smiling like she had did in the corridor earlier, and Ben’s stare didn’t know what to choose between her star like eyes or her smile so his gaze fluttered from one to another.

  
‘ Ben….’ she murmured his name so gently, so fondly. Like she wanted to be here with him. Like she wanted him. Pleasure rolled through him at the thought.

  
‘ How are you here ?’

  
She took a step toward him and he inhaled deeply as her smell filled his nostrils. Light and fresh and intoxicating. He wanted to drown in her scent. She was only a pace away now, and her forehead lightly creased as she answered gently, eyes lifting to meet his.

  
‘ I’m where you want me to be, Ben.’

  
God he had never been this close to a woman, to _anyone_ in years, hadn’t even wanted to be until now, until her. And now he couldn’t seem to get close enough. He could see her wet her lips, feel her breath against him, warm and soft. She was so beautiful in this moment, so Fucking _beautiful_ and he knew he would never find anyone more right for him than her. He bit his lips, his thoughts racing as he watched her pulse thump beneath her soft skin, kissed and freckled by the sun. He was going to kiss every single one of those freckles.

  
And as if she had read his mind, she asked.

  
‘Is that what you want to do ? Touch me ?’

  
_Fuck._

  
Ben wanted to swallow but his throat was dry and he couldn’t steady his breathing or himself anymore, and when he spoke, his voice was ragged and deep.

  
‘ You have no idea the things I want to do to you.’

  
She smiled, a big, toothy grin, and closed the distance between them.

  
‘ I have a pretty good imagination.’

  
He wanted to answer, he really did, but all his witty comebacks got stuck in his throat in a second. Now that she was in front of him, he was lost for words.

_It’s too much, it’s not enough, it’s everything._

  
But she didn’t need words to understand him, to know exactly what he wanted, and she raised her hand toward him.

 

  
Ben’s eyes went down, staring at her slightly trembling fingers. His own hand cautiously stretched out, and thinking it would go through hers, he took it.

  
But their fingers actually touched. They both jolted at the contact, astounded as they stared into each other’s eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered and she grasped his hand-- and then his wrist, his forearm, his upper arm. Trailing her fingers along his shirt, caressing him even, until her tiny hand was pressed onto his chest. She must have been able to feel his raging heartbeat slamming against her skin, feel his body throb, feel his desperation for more because as he was staring entranced by her lips, she raised her other hand and cupped his jaw, sliding her fingers on his damp cheek, and pushing them into his hair. She was softly thumbing at his ear shell when he whimpered, leaning into her touch.

  
‘ Stay….’ he whispered, as his eyes found hers, ablaze with intensity and need. ‘ Stay with me.’

  
His gaze fell to her mouth, delicate and pink.

 

 _‘Please.’_ he breathed out.

 

Without letting himself think, he lowered his head, tentatively wrapped his hands around her back, and kissed her.

 

 

But instead of her soft, luscious lips, all he found was her hard, stretched jaw. She had turned her head. She wasn’t letting him kiss her. His heart beat and screamed in his chest, and inside him, something else awoke. The other side of him, raw and hungry…. _The monster_.

  
He pressed her flush against him, stumbling against his desk and hastily parting his legs so that she could stand between them. He heard her breath catch in her throat when he roamed kisses down her neck, her hand tugging at the silky strands of his hair. Her heart was pleading for his touch, hammering against his lips.

He nuzzled his nose into her neck. She smelled like his kisses, like herself, like what he thought home would smell like. His mind hazy, Ben pushed his nose against her jaw and she raised her chin, laughing softly. And for a second, nothing seemed more important than this moment, right here, with her, so he crushed his lips on the soft skin there, carefully dug his teeth into her neck and sucked.

Ben Solo had never given an hickey to anyone, so he was probably sucking too fast too hard, but he wanted to leave his mark there. Wanted anyone who saw her to know she had a man. _Him_. It’s primitive and feral and obscene, but feeling her pulse beat faster as he bit down did something to him, and damn if he didn’t feel his dick throb at the thought. She had made him so hard he could tell his erection was straining against his pants. He felt her shiver under him and she pressed her hips against his.

That’s when his mind went blank with want. His mouth detached from her throat with a slick pop and he leaned away a little to look at the mark he had given her. It was right under her jaw, where he had felt her heart thump when he was kissing her, where he had heard it beg ’ _Please, touch me once more, and once more after that._ ’

  
‘ _So much more…._ ’ he thought.

He wanted to mark her a thousand times more across her whole body. Without thinking he ducked his head again to press a chaste kiss to his love bite. And another, slightly higher. And another, almost on her lips. She hummed, angling her face away just enough for her mouth to stay out of his reach. But now, her body was all laid out in front of him, and oh God if that wasn’t already a blessing. Her little hand rubbed his ear while he kissed his way down her throat. Through dark lashes, he looked up and saw her breathless, mouth open and cheeks flushed, staring at him. She smiled shyly when their eyes met and her hands let go of his hair and his chest to gently slide down his back. Another whimper escaped him and his whole body trembled when she ventured to his hips.

  
‘Oh fuck-- Alright alright alright.’

  
His mouth was hanging open and sweat was dripping from his forehead and-- God he had to close his eyes or he was going to do something embarrassing like faint, as the tips of her fingers pressed on his throbbing hard on.

  
‘ Show me, Ben.’ she whispered, ‘ How much you want me.’

  
Standing on her tip toes, her eyes met his as she breathed against his lips.

  
‘And I’ll show you….how much I want you too.’

Ben’s heart jolted in his chest. Because this was as if she was confiding in him, telling him ‘ I’m like you, just like you’, and suddenly he knew she would stand with him, as he would stand with her. There were the same. Exactly the same.

  
Feeling bolder, his own hands surged to undo her dress’s straps, dragging them over her shoulders-- and Ben was almost sure his brain was going to explode from lust. Eyes huge, he watched as her dress revealed the thin lacy white bras underneath it. His mouth watered as he took in the sight of her, bare before him and wanting. An incredulous smile slowly spread across his face as his eyes probed hers nervously.

She mouthed a soft ‘Please’, hips pressing against his again. Oh and how his dick loved every second of being so close to her.

Ben swallowed deeply. His right hand wrapped around her ribcage as his left one held tightly onto her waist. She was so small, his hands covered almost all the way around her.

He let out a shaky breath, tracking his thumb as it slowly stroked her skin. She shivered a little at the feeling of his touch and goose bumps blossomed all over her, and probably all over him too.

Ben’s head was spiraling, and fuck he wanted to _ravish_ her, throw everything off of his desk and make love to her in his office here and now.

Breathing hard, his thumb reached just a little further and grazed at her hardened nipple, whole hand cupping her round breast, repeating the motion as he heard her harsh intake of breath. She was so soft and warm under his fingers even with her bra on. Biting on his lips, he bent down to reach under her butt and effortlessly hoist her up in his arms finally bringing her face to face with him. Her arms shot up to grab onto his back, tiny hands tangling in his hair.  
He could see how her whole body had curved to follow his own and how her heart hammered in her chest. His mouth engulfed her bra, hot and wet, and licked over the thin material. With his thumb still rubbing against her skin, he breathed warm air on her nipple. He felt her melt in his arms, and when she spoke her voice was rough and shaky.

  
‘ Bloody hell….’

  
Her adorable British accent dizzied him for a second and he lost track of what was happening until he felt her hands scrape against his shirt, insistently pulling, tugging, clamping so hard it started to tear.

  
Oh alright, _shirt out._

  
Reluctantly breaking kissing her to take his tie and shirt off, Ben felt a sudden pang of disquiet. Would he be enough for her ? Would she still want him even after seeing the scars, and the moles, and the white _white_ skin that he studiously kept out of the Sun because try as he might, the closest he had been to tanned was lobster red ?

  
Watching her face for her reactions, subconsciously bracing for rejection, he was instead pleased, no, _thrilled beyond belief_ , when he saw her eyes dilate and her mouth slacken at the sight of him. There is a primitive part of his brain that just preens at her reaction. That allows him to silently bask in her gaze, when he would normally shrink away.  
The girl’s hand lifted almost unbidden toward him, _yes, please please touch me_ , until her warm calloused little fingers alighted at last on his collar bone.

  
‘ Don’t move….’ she whispered.

 _‘ I won’t’_ he thought but stupidly didn’t say, holding his breath in disbelief. She’s touching him. Touching and _wanting_ him. There was no Force on Earth that could make him move now.

  
Her fingers moved lightly across his skin, as if memorizing him. He wanted her to look at him, but she was staring at her fingertips grazing against his skin and it was as if she couldn’t drag her sight away from the path they were tracing. Then as her fingers trailed along his shoulder, leaving sparks wherever they landed, she stepped around him to continue her exploration to his back, and all at once Ben stopped caring that she wasn’t looking at his face, he just knew that he wanted her to keep touching him, and never stop.  
And Ben felt like he was going to die of pleasure as her eyes finally found his and she actually sank to her knees between his legs and _oh_ \- holy shit….--she was undoing his belt and she wanted him and--

 

 

The phone rang.

 

Ben’s eyes shot open. He blinked, sitting bolt upright, suddenly startled by the emptiness he felt without her.  
Now he could hear the phone ring in the distance, inside his living room. And his eyes closed. Maybe if he shut them tightly enough she would come back. Maybe he could slip back in his fantasy because fuck-- just a little more and he could have cum.

  
‘ Fucking hell.‘

  
His jaw clenched and he got up, pulled his pants up and messily tucked his softening cock in his briefs.  
Whoever was calling they had better be prepared when he answered after that interruption. He started walking toward the door then stopped right before going in.

His head lifted to the balcony above him.

  
Her light was still on, a beam of hope into darkness. She was there.

 

He wasn’t alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, what will the next fantasy be about ? Tell me in the comments !  
> If you think of something great I'll do my best to include it !  
> I'm so so pleased by this chapter and I hope you'll love it as much as I do ! Reylo will be in every chapter from now !


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